pixies trading darkness to our neurons

"Ex-Isle"
[written 05.18.10]

There once was a place
somewhere subconscious
floating between the clouds of dreams
and the memory palaces
where you could go when you had
nowhere else to go
It was a happy place, to say the least
There was always someone there to greet you
welcome you and comfort you with fuzzy words
It was salvation
it was an island for castaway aspirations
and it was always there to give you hope
a hug and a backpat
and send you on your way
In those times nobody ever felt alone

But we cared not for our island
We were careless
we smuggled in emotions not allowed there
and we frittered them away

The rule was
on this island
everyone is happy
But our souls went rogue and didn't want to listen
Soon a black market erupted in our thoughts
pixies trading darkness to our neurons
and the darkness sent to spread along our spines
sorrow anger guilt frustration bitterness retaliation
all the things they'd tried to lock out
now seeped inward

The island was undone
It'd lost its purpose
so they closed it off
and nobody can find their way there anymore
We lost our happy place
because we'd tried to make it more like real life

Now
when you're alone and you have
nowhere else to go
all you can do is sink inside yourself
and dissolve deeper into darkness
swimming blindly in an ocean of regret
wanting nothing more than to reach that once-island
all you find is ex-isle with a cold, brittle shore
so you drown in bubbling rot.

A home is what you make it.

[see also: Gift]