never take calculus for granted

subject: how far we've come
style: mathematical
source: Charlie Brown

"Some days you think maybe you know everything...
some days you think maybe you don't know anything...
some days you think you know a few things...
some days you don't even know how old you are."

If y=x^2, find y'.

For us, this is a one-step problem. This is mental math. We practically take it for granted by this point. But what if it weren't ? What if you had to try to explain how to solve this problem, to someone who only knew the four basic operations of mathematics ? How would you do it ? To show how much we have learned throughout all mathematical career, to prove how much it actually took us to get to where we are, and to demonstrate the complexity of our minds, I will write out all of the tiniest elements of one's thought process in solving the above problem. Here goes.

1. Suppose "y" and "x^2" can be called expressions.
2. Suppose the equal sign (=) signifies that the expressions on either side of it are equivalent.
3. Suppose the combination of the three elements forms an equation, and more specifically, a function.
4. Suppose a variable is a letter that stands for a number of undetermined (but not necessarily indeterminable) value.
5. Suppose "x" and "y" are variables.
6. Recall that to multiply two numbers, A and B, you add A to itself (B-1) times.
7. Suppose that to square a number means to multiply it by itself.
8. Suppose the "2" in superscript is referred to as an exponent, and signifies that you are squaring the (unknown) value of x. Thus, x^2 is equivalent to x times x.
9. Suppose "y" here represents the name of a function which consists of x^2.
10. Suppose that to "plug in" values to this function means to figure out what the value of x or y would be when you assign the other a particular value.
11. Suppose "y'" is a symbol for the derivative of the function y.
12. Suppose the term "derivative" refers to a separate, second function which expresses the rate at which the first function changes y-values as you plug in x-values.
13. Suppose a "term" is a collection of numbers and variables multiplied together, such as x^2.
14. Suppose y' can be found, when the variable y is isolated on either side of the equal sign, and when the other side consists only of one term (which contains no variables other than x) by subtracting one from the exponent of x, and multiplying the constant of x by the original exponent of x.
15. Suppose that when two numbers or variables are placed immediately beside each other with no symbol in between, you are multiplying them.
16. Suppose the "constant" of x refers to the number you are multiplying it by.
17. Suppose that when no constant appears beside x, you can assume that the constant is implied to be 1.
18. Recall that 2 minus 1 equals 1. Change the exponent of x to 1.
19. Suppose that when the exponent of a variable is 1, you can leave the exponent out and it will be implied that you mean the exponent to be 1. Take away the exponent.
20. Recall that 2 times 1 equals 2. Write a 2 immediately beside the x.
21. Suppose that when you have a constant multiplied by a variable, the constant should always precede the variable in order to practice good mathematical form. Confirm that the 2 is in front of the x.
22. Conclude your work, and resolve that y'=2x. Box your answer.

Phew. Did I miss anything ?
I took a lot away from that lesson in CP^2 in which we learned to write technical documents.

I hope this has taught you never to take calculus for granted. xP
My head hurts. Does yours ?

tiny handprints

subject: reinvention
style: inspired
source: Christopher Gardner, The Pursuit of Happyness

"Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you, you can't do something. Not even me. All right ? You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you, you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period."

[Wow, has it been two weeks already ? And I'm still in Exodus ... -_-]

I listened to a man the other day, speak about stories .. how they originate, why we tell them, and what they do for our lives. He revealed that they follow the same patterns, time after time: they express our innermost feelings, hopes, fears, concerns, anxieties. And I think the hopes prevail. He made me recognize that it is the "tiny handprints" (inside reference) that get us along -- the symbol of everyone helping each other, bit by bit, one step at a time .. simply because we all need someone else to help us.

I shall now relay a recent experience of mine. It is one I will no doubt tell you more about later, but not one I particularly enjoyed. It culminated with my adversary spitting out the classic line, "Are you happy ?" My first instinct, of course, was to take it to heart. And the obvious answer is no. But I need to ask myself, why ? What is standing in my way ?

I am not happy because, blank.

It was the blank that got me. That blank has for the longest time plagued my idle thoughts, and tugged at my heartstrings. At the time, and for a while beforehand, as well as thereafter, my answer was:

[I am not happy because] they wrench away my chance at contentment, with the pressures and oppression they force upon me.

I watched The Pursuit of Happyness last night. I knew it was going to be a good one; I've been wanting to see it for the longest time. But this went far beyond good. The story inspired me beyond belief. It made me realize how blessed I am (literally or otherwise), and how much I have screwed up my life by not living it to the fullest. And now, after watching that glorious movie, I realize what the real reason is, to complete my sentence:

[I am not happy because] I allow these restrictions to dictate who I am, how I live my life, how I deal with hardships, and how I feel inside, about my self and my future.

So I said to myself, I have really got to simplify. Yes, I know it is the middle of July, but these are my resolutions. Better yet, these are my foot-down decisions .. since resolutions by nature feel far-off, distant, and low in urgency -- they are something we feel good about starting on, for three days or so, but we never follow up on our words. These, on the other hand, I will enforce immediately. These are for right now, tomorrow -- even today. These are essential. These are for real. These are my tiny handprints.

1. I will not let these words control my mind, and all my thoughts -- but I will love them still as my babies.
2. I will send a personal message to all those who have deserved it for far too long.
3. I will love my friends for who they are, because they are absolutely amazing.
4. I will not make such a big deal out of everything -- and I will not think quite so much.
5. I will learn that it doesn't all need to be perfect -- and I will see the beauty in the imperfections.
6. I will treat every new day not as my last, but as my best.
7. I will not rest until I can see my girlfriend again -- and I will hug her until we both turn purple.
8. I will not go out of my way to color-coordinate my pajamas.
9. I will go back and find the friendly Harvard man at the library, and I will tell him: I want to write.
10. I will find better things to do with my time, once in a while.
11. I will make every minute special -- but I will not dwell on my mistakes.
12. I will finally come back down to Earth.
13. I will pray for Isabella, who art in Heaven.
14. And after all that is said and done, then, but only when I have settled down and I feel I am good and ready, then will I come back here and share my love with you beauties. And I will love it with all my heart.

There. 14 promises, on the 14th day .. for 14 is a special number just the same. (They all cry out for a little recognition from time to time.)

The ultimate goal of every writer is to captivate his reader; to bring someone into his inner sanctum and to allow him to experience the same glorious emotion possessing his spirit in that moment; to have that single personal feeling expressed through his work, and through his thought-out words and clauses: through an entirely different kind of medium. Or at least to get remarkably close. I dearly hope that for you, this I will achieve.

murmurs of a bumblebee, artificial might

[ Doing some summer cleaning. I have to organize my thoughts before I can beautify them for you. Here is something to keep you going until then. I wrote it last year (060507), but never got a chance to publish it, as it was finished after Agnocure. It should read rhythmically; commas mean pause. p.s. It's not exactly a bedtime story. Enjoy :D ]

" Prisoner of Hell "
( The Doppelgänger Death )
by Siesta Lingo

Dark, hushed, quiet of the night,
still, silent, silent still . In the
dark, quiet, whispers out of fright,
murmurs of a bumblebee, artificial might .
Cold, wind, whistles through bones,
whizzes, past, trembling, stammering . A-
lone, blood chills, stone, cold,
frozen, shivering, eternally old .
Precious as gold -- once, not anymore . Now
nothing here to do but sit,
lonely, hungry, waiting, bored .

Creaking of the hinges, stop motion door open .
Slight though, slight .. ever so slightly, but e-
nough to shed a glimmer on everything in sight . Then
light, bright, shines shiny shining light,
sight out of darkness, blinded for a moment,
squint, quivering, eyes shut tight,
open, slowly, vision, gradually re-
stores . At the door, someone standing, a figure,
stolid, nothing of a falter, nothing there at
all, in the face, blank expression . Then a

silvery sliver, slips out, sliding,
sharp as a blade's edge, ready to slice . No
more, says the mind with a timid hesitation, but the
mouth has learned not to let anything out . No
longer, no more, will this pain go on, will it
have to be endured, no longer, no more . Un-
spoken conversation, wordless, speechless, but the
thoughts come through, clearly, motives . It
cannot be helped, it is needless to resist .
Useless, for a weakness is the need to be assisted .

Coming, closer, step forward foot down .
Walking, a soldier, one two one two .
Left .. left .. left .. left ...
Mind : racing, panic, manic,
facing its end, memories erasing . Com-
motion, noises, stifled voices,
focus, let go, losing focus .
Silvery sliver, closer than ever, re-
fracting the light, disturbing the eyes, a dis-
traction . Infraction, this is not the way it was to
end, take an action . Screaming out would do nothing to
mend the situation; but put the self at peace .
Murmur something safe like, taking a vacation .
Time is almost up, time is almost, time is,

time ... From
still to whooshing, one swift motion,
slice, pain ! Heart stops breathing,
mouth stops beating, mind stops feeding .
Now, falling, down, to nothing ...
Dark, hushed, quiet of the night,
still as ever, silent still as always .

taken away all traces of strategy

subject: Monopoly
style: rant / review
source: To Kill a Mockingbird

"Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing."

[NOTE: I wrote this back in January, when I thought no one would ever read it. Gahd, I'm such a nerd haha Dx]

Yes, another one, I know. I just have an urgent message I've got to get across. Lol, not really .. It's just a little thing I forgot. (This is a follow-up to my first Monopoly rant.)

I have recently played a few games of Monopoly, with this new inclusion they've created called the "Speed Die." Well, it certainly lives up to its name. Games go three or four times faster than they typically do without it (that is, assuming there are no dreaded "house rules" currently in effect). The only problem is, it utterly ruins the game as it is meant to be played.

First things first : as soon as I had finished my first game using it, I rushed to calculate the odds of rolling each number using the new, blue die. Geeky ? No. Clever and strategic ? Definitely. On the surface, it doesn't work out half-bad. All it does is add an innocent 1-3 onto your roll, or gives you more or less freedom as to where you land. Let's address these aspects one at a time.

Adding onto your roll, contrary to popular belief, does not make the game go by more quickly. It makes you circle the board more quickly. Which means you get more money faster. So is it helpful ? It'll get a Big Fat NO here, methinks. More money means waiting longer for the game to end (hello). Doubtless guna lose Brownie Points for this one...

The bus : lets you choose whether you use one, the other, or both of your dice to move. Again, you will obviously always choose the one that is best for you and your financial matters, allowing you to live longer and forcing the game to keep trudging on. Starting not to look so pretty, eh ?

Mr. Monopoly : while there are still properties in the Bank, moves you to the next one available, forcing you to buy it. Big thumbs-up here .. makes the game progress faster and earlier, so we can all cut to the chase.

Once all the properties have been purchased, though, old Uncle Pennybags forces you to move to the first property on which you will pay rent. Know what that means ? The second the final property is paid for, every player quickly mortgages everything they own except their most expensive land. End result: he who holds the most expensive card wins the game.

I can't think of a better way Parker Brothers could have taken away all traces of strategy from a perfectly decent game. They really should've just left it alone. I must admit, though, they undoubtedly dragged in plenty of loyal customers with their speedy-Rodriguez ploy, who just had to have a second copy of the game just for the one extra piece included. Clever marketing scheme, P-Bros. Very clever.

I will regain the enthusiasm

subject: rebirth / writing
style: friendly
source: mi madre

"It's hard to do normal things when you feel crummy."

Oh boy. Okay, so here's the deal. I just have to do one introductory (albeit short) post so that I can remember how to blog, before I get into anything too intense. I'm going to just pretend I started this beast in May (for my records), because I totally failed epically back in November. Is that all right, yea ? Is that all right with you ? You didn't see anything x) So anyway, I'm starting where I left off; hope you don't mind. [I think my space bar is hyper .. I keep finding mysterious double-spaces between random words.]

Hopefully sometime soon I will regain the enthusiasm for blogging, because I really need the motivation to keep this going. I have high hopes for this thing .. I just hope I have the willpower to pull them off. My goal is to be happy with myself when summer ends; and the only way I will do that is by writing as much as I can (while still completing that darned summer homework).

I will make things right this summer. It is my turn .. to show what I'm made of. I present to you, the new Gills. Back on the radar, baby ;D

Listening to: All-American Rejects. [Ahh, the memories.]

p.s. I'm still not done with punctuspacion. My colons have found their place, but my ?'s and !'s need further seclusion.