such gorgeous eyes

subject: Miss C.
style: narration
source: Open Season

"The longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be for him to adapt.
And the harder it's gonna be for you to let him go."

I could have sworn I saw Chibi at Knott's. I know, nice name, huh ? It makes me smile.

Chewy, Chibi, Cherry .. guao. I don't know what its significance is, but this summer followed quite an interesting pattern. It stumps me.

Then there was another grrl who smiled big at me when she passed. I don't know who she was exactly .. she did look kind of like someone in my summer class, but then again she could have just thought I was cute. I wouldn't blame her.

That reminds me. I realized indirectly, on one of my countless trips to Knott's this summer, that I overplayed my obsession with Chewy. It seemed like a big deal at the time, but it really meant little to nothing; the emotions were too spurious and shallow. How did I come to this conclusion ? Waii.

Standing in line for Supreme Scream, I met a grrl with the most fantastic body. She looked Pinay, but it turns out she is Hawaiian. Not that it matters. What I mean to say is, she kept looking over at me. And then later we crossed paths again, and she caught my eye at Silver Bullet .. and for that split second before we went our separate ways, as we looked right into each other's eyes, I could have sworn there was a smile behind hers. Mg. Such gorgeous eyes. For the rest of that day, I was hoping to see her once more. I miss her. And I regret not talking to her. If I could, I would replay that vision over and over again. And preferably, with my glasses *on* this time -_- . Those big, brown, beautiful eyes. Hacheee... It warms my heart.

Back to my main point... I realize now that the longing I felt for Chewy was just the same as that which I felt from Waii, if only for one day. What can I say ? When I see a beautiful grrl, I can't help but admire her.

[ 11/4 edit : On a side note, I actually saw Chewy the other night, while trick-or-treating. She still looks just as amazing, in case you were wondering. ]

two birds with one stone

subject: drawing / temper
style: narration
source: Hoshi

"We're fortunate, because we have words to communicate ourselves."

A week or two ago, I was sitting, bored out of my mind, and could not think of a thing to do. Usually when this happens, I do one of the only real activities at my disposal -- I out my trusty deck of cards and play a lonely game of solitaire, or I find a blank sheet of paper and put something on it. On this particular afternoon, I was not in the mood for cards, and I did not have an idea for writing, so I resolved to draw a picture.

Of what ? I asked myself. I hadn't a clue. I would just draw from the heart, and see what happened. Naturally I started with a diagonal line (the perfect start to any good sketch), then I drew another, and another. At this point I realized what I had was a beak, and I continued to fill in the bird's head and body. When I was finished, I sat back and took a look at my cr4ppy picture of a bird and I felt sorry for myself. My drawing is always mediocre without inspiration. I can draw the same old thing over and over, but beyond that I am talentless as an artist (a poorly designated term, by the way, in my opinion).

So I ventured, unconsciously, to get something beneficial out of the experience. I scratched a lightning bolt atop my drawing, I zapped the bird. And I scribbled all over his stern, strangely human face, his unnaturally plump body, and his gangly, disproportioned legs. [Firefox says it's dis-, but I don't see why mis- won't work. Then again, it also says "gangly" is not a word.] I covered him with fire and brimstone (and smoke !). That bird was scorched good.

Why did I spoil my drawing so ? Well, for one it was cr4p. For two (a phrase which I don't think I've ever used before; logically, it works, but it still sounds odd), I had been bottling up my anger (of course .. what else can you bottle up ?) for quite some time. And sometimes all you really need is to destroy something, to make you feel a whole lot better about yourself. I unleashed my frustration on that paper, and when I was all scrawled out I took one look at the resultant mess and I smiled. I had ki11ed two birds with one stone, and I was refreshed.

[ 11/3 edit : This writing has helped me with my process analysis essay... Step three is Crash and burn. I even quoted myself. Amn't I special ? ]

I madden at the thought

subject: writing / technology
style: rant
source: Corinne's graduation

"Perfection is authenticity through imperfection."

A boy of my acquaintance has, on two distinctive occasions, claimed that the pen-and-paper method of writing is primitive and inutile, and that it ought soon to become obsolete. As soon as he gets a laptop, he says, he will type up everything. Honestly, I madden at the thought. The pen is a close friend of mine, and paper is my buddy. I know *some people* agree with me too. Some remarkably smart people, at that.

On paper, I can "just let my emotions flow out... I find it easier to open up when I write by hand." (For the quote, I have referred back to my style and rhetoric paper -- humbly a seven.) Seriously, when I have the impression I am writing these phrases, putting the words together, forming and connecting the letters, all by myself, it is much more refreshing than enlisting the aid of a generic, impersonal computer box and its universal typeface. Yes, my handwriting is far more sumptuous and easier on the eyes. Not to mention the fact that, in my case, every minute I use the computer I am being pressured by a particularly atrocious, agitating timer. Blech.

nameless but all too identifiable

subject: bugs
style: creative
source: Douglas MacArthur

"We are not retreating -- we are advancing in another direction."

Stealthily, it creeps its way across the mounds of carpet fuzz and plants itself invisibly in the most inconspicuous, most shadowcast fold of a blanket beneath my bed. Yes, I speak of a bug.

No more than a few millimeters long, it remains nameless but all too identifiable. The vacuum cleaner can only capture so many. Exhausted, I stop halfway through the battle to take a break. But they don't give up. They don't eat. They don't sleep. They leave their little skins everywhere. And there are always more. They put up quite the fight.

After a week of frustration, the stock replenishes inexplicably -- I have only made a dent. I am really starting to despise the little suckers.

Moral for reader: Do not put anything under your bed; they will flock when you least expect it. Clean it all out right now.

Moral for self: Hold out; they're tiny. Blow them out already. Get a better vacuum cleaner. Oh, and for the hundredth time, clean your room too.

That is all.

to infect our sensual minds so powerfully

subject: gender
style: rant
source: Spencer

"The only way we find answers, is if we ask questions."

Why are blondes exalted ?! A fair question, I think. The exclamation point is necessary, because it conveys the incredulity I feel whenever I am reminded of this travesty. I don't like to overdo it, because what is the point of multiple, when you can get virtually the same point across with one ??!!!?!?!??!

Blondes. Let me explain what I mean. Somewhere along the course of history, the male population has made a mutual decision that blondes are inherently more beautiful, even sexier, than girls with another hair color. Perhaps this was a sympathy vote, to make up for all the blonde jokes guys have made all these years; but I would really be shocked if men could be that wise and kind-hearted.

Really, it is not merely that I am awestruck at how we could pass such a stereotype and allow it to infect our sensual minds so powerfully; though that is a tragedy, I have become used to stereotyping by now. I do not hold this view. I am instinctively against the flow. I typically do not like blondes. Yellow hair (or whitish .. even worse) is unattractive -- dare I say, a turn-off -- for me. Some nice, solid, genuine brown hair is far more preferable.

Sometimes I just don't get the world these days.

at a loss for time to do anything

subject: ideas
style: casual
source: Corinne
(the repetition was not purposeful)

"Everyone waits till the last minute to do everything."

So I have about a thousand ideas built up,
for topics of discussion on my blog.
Okay, so that is an exaggeration.
But seriously, over one hundred.

Why do I constantly break lines
(besides that I am used to it) ?
The margin is too wide.
I need to give myself the impression
that I am making some progress.
If I wrote all the way across, it would take forever to get to the bottom.

I do the same thing when I read.
I want to feel like I am accomplishing something.
Hence, I like books with short chapters.
That way, I can stop whenever I feel like it.
And I like it when the pages go by quickly
(like, when the font is big or there is plenty of spacing).
Even if that makes the total number greater,
I feel proud to have read ten pages in five minutes.
(As if that would ever happen.)

For this reason, history books and their two-columned pages are the dea7h of me.

In a way, the line breaks seem more organized as well.
I can easily distinguish my separate thoughts,
without having to search (and read -_-) through it all.

Going back ..
at least I know I won't run out of ideas for quite a while,
as I was so frequently afraid I might do on Agnocure.

~~~~~

101707 .. such an awesome date on which to start.
Unfortunately it adds up to sixteen ..
but still, you can't beat the symmetry of the numbers.

I totally didn't mean to wait six days between posts.
These things just happen ..
I've been at a loss for time to do anything recently.
And I've been kinda grumpy.
I don't feel like explaining.

The real posts will begin soon.
I promise.

hitting a taboo right off the bat

subject: introduction / writing
style: casual
source (of quote): Corinne's graduation

"Write because you have something to say,
that nobody else does."

I'm back .
Yeah .
You'd better be scared .

Haha, I'm playing .
We're all friends, right ?
Besides the fact that we don't really like each other .

This is my version of a preface .

Oh, the ending ?
Screw endings .
When have I ever cared much about endings ?
When have I ever paid much attention to
whether something is supposed to be over ?
I stopped liking Rona seven months ago ...

Good way to start it off, eh ? Nice and easy ...

Guau . When I first wrote this shxt, it had only been two months .
Yes, I started planning my next blog as soon as I ended the last one .
Insane ? Perhaps . I tend to be that way sometimes .

I have some unfinished business to take care of,
and I would prefer if you didn't listen .
In other words, go right on ahead .

~~~~~

I'll probably acc1dentally forget the spaces sometimes.
(Like so.)
Don't bother worrying about it.
I might even do it purposely sometimes.
(Like now.)
I. feel. so. simple. minded.
It's okay, the sentence variation will come
in its own due time.

I think I'll just get past the puntuspacion altogether.
I mean, I have enough trouble typing already
-- you won't believe how many typos I have made
in the last few paragraphs alone --
without having to worry about maintaining the same format.
And the spaces just don't seem to fit anymore,
with everything else perfectly correct .. grammar-wise.

Yes, I am just talking for the sake of it
(and I don't mean the Japanese rice drink).
Because finally, once more, I can.
No, these words don't mean much.
Yet.
Don't judge me. Yet.

I just need to get all of the "I care" mentality out of my system,
to make room for "why care ?"
I just need to get into the scheme of things.
I just need to start my flow going.
I just need to write this cr@p, so I can look back later and invariably see that I have improved. And so I can remember how easy it is to write for no reason .. which will make it seem easier to write as well with a reason.
I just need to make this all up as I go along (which, believe me, I am doing).
I just need to use a bit more anaphora (which you will see a lot of here .. prepare yourself).
I am so happy I finally discovered the name for it.
And all this time, I have just been referring to it as plain old parallel structure.

So why, you ask, do I leave this junk in as my first post, if I admit to thinking so poorly of it ?
I ask in turn why you must ask so many questions.
But to answer you, who knows.

He11, the first post of Agnocure was uber shieettay
.. and sooo teenage-bloggish.

This may not be much,
but you have to admit
it is a step up from that.

~~~~~

I have some unfinished business to take care of,
and I would prefer if you didn't listen .
In other words, go right on ahead .

Did I say that already ?
Cool . Read it again .