a social codex

"Recess"

[written on the night of 4.21]

Back in elementary school

Everything was simpler

It was all set up just right

You had recess, you had lunch, then you had lunch recess even

You were taken care of then

Nobody complained

The art of social interactivity

Was made a natural part of routine

When the bell rang, you knew

You could go outside and play and think of nothing else

And you knew all your friends would be out there with you

The boundaries were less defined too, less constrained

If you wanted to play with Dick & Jane

You didn't need to ask them

They're there, just find their social pod and play

They welcomed you.

Junior high, high school, and higher school arrived

You learned you wouldn't get recess anymore

But you still had lunch

You could live with just lunch

Visiting Dick & Jane at their lockers for some small talk

Walking with them between classes

You still got your fair share of human contact

It wasn't ideal but it would be enough.

But now you're in college

There's no lunch even

There's only class and going home, that's all there is

No longer do you have a chance to talk to them with ease

Instead we digitize our selves

And live our lives through screens

Playing out a make-believe in pixels

Pretending all along we know who our friends are

We become our avatars

Rather than speak we reach out textually

Rather than smile we punctuate

You tolerate it because admittedly

It's easier for you to open up this way

But still you think you might like to hear

The sound of voices now and then

And you can

You can hear their voices, of course, if you want to

But there is a protocol

A social codex of procedures you must follow to the word:

You have to expose yourself

You have to say "I want you as my friend.

Will you come to recess with me please ?"

It's like an ancient courting ritual gone wrong

And so, upon asking, you attend a café with them

But you don't get to play at this recess

You can only dully talk and burn your tongue on darkness

The thing is, actually, you're forced to talk

If you let a silent moment pass you lose points

They're counting, keeping track all along

And the whole ordeal is really a steaming heap

Of discomfort and all-around unpleasantness

The opposite of natural

Frankly, the mere idea of this thing called college upsets you

The fact that everyone around you is growing up for real

You know that nowadays Dick is out there somewhere fucking Jane

(When the kissing was enough to ache your heart)

And you're expected to do much the same

While your mental faculties are stoned to death

The liquor seeps in leaving sticky in its trail

It's such an insincere, corrupt eruption, wholly unattractive

It's all too much

And all you really want to do is be a kid again

The tetherballs and jungle gyms stand vibrant in your mind

A time when you could forget all your worries

On the playground

When life was yours to live