Monday, May 18, 2009

step one

I say, "We need to talk."
She walks.
I say, "Sit down, it's just a talk."
She smiles politely back at me;
I stare politely right on through.

Some sort of window to my right,
as she goes left and I stay
right between the lines of fear and blame,
and I begin to wonder why I came.

'Let her know that you know best;
cos after all, you do know best.
Try to slip past her defense,
without granting innocence.

'Lay down a list of what is wrong,
things you've told her all along,
and pray to god she hears you.'

As she begins to raise her voice,
I lower mine and grant her one last choice:
"Drive until you lose the road,
or break with the ones you've followed."

She will do one of two things:
She will admit to everything;
or she'll say she's just not the same,
and I'll begin to wonder why I came.

Where did I go wrong ?
I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness.
Again.

I'm breaking the habit.

& now, I fall back from a passion
onto an allergy.
and It feels so fresh.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

it tends to send a mixed message if you say you want to talk and then blow the other person off.

at least *say* you don't want to. don't just say "don't pencil me in just yet" and leave it at that.

philophiliac said...

It's not that I didn't want to. I did, I think. I just wasn't ready; I've had a lot on my mind.

And for your information, I didn't exactly blow you off. I had a prior engagement with someone else. (I couldn't make her wait.)

And even if I hadn't, you were walking off with prickhead to who-knows-where in the wrong direction, when I came out of Econ.

Plus it was your turn. So you blew me off, if anything.

But yeah, it is still clearly my fault. I'm so sorry.

p.s. Why don't you have the guts to send an email ? What is it ? Do you want to involve this blog's other reader in our personal life ?